Baby Father Didn't Ask to See Son on Christmas
I'm a little nervous, to tell y'all this story about my childhood, and how we historic Christmas in my family growing up. First off, I don't want to offend anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas. Secondly, I'g calling into question the long standing Christmas tradition of telling kids about Santa, especially the office about "if you aren't good, Santa won't bring you any gifts".
You lot might disagree with me. And that'south okay! I take religion and trust in you to respectfully disagree. So, thank you, in advance for being a safe space! And thanks for reading.
Hither it goes…
When I was two years former my parents told me that Santa Claus didn't be. Nearly people I tell this to, permit out a long sighing, "Ohhhh!" as if I just told them that my dog died. Yet growing up while knowing the truth about Santa didn't destroy the magic of Christmas. And we did the same thing with our own kids when they were young.
The "you be good this year otherwise Santa won't give you any gifts" aspect of Christmas is a piddling problematic for parents, similar you and me, who choose to enhance their kids knowing that they are loved unconditionally. But the my discomfort with Santa doesn't end there.
Historically the story of Santa is actually about unconditional love; it'due south the story of Saint Nicholas
Nicholas, an early Christian, secretly gave money 3 separate times for three sisters whose father didn't have enough money for a dowry for them to get married. During the dark he snuck the coin into their stockings. But one night the father caught St. Nicholas, Nick asked for him to proceed his cloak-and-dagger. St. Nick gave to this family unconditionally because of his honey for God.
The modernistic story of Santa is nigh surveillance, stuffing your feelings downward, and not expressing your emotions
"You'd better sentry out, you'd improve non cry, yous'd better non pout I'm telling you why. . . He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you lot've been bad or proficient so be good for goodness sake . ." Those lyrics are just creepy! I think that kids need to take privacy, space away from adults, freedom to fully express their feelings.
We want our kids to know that we love them unconditionally
No thing what our children do, our love for them volition never diminish. I don't like all the things my kid does, but I ever love her, for everything she is and everything she isn't. In that loving space, I detect ways to teach her to be more of who she is meant to be.
Behavioral science tells us that we get more enjoyment from being kind to others when nosotros don't get anything in return
When our kids human activity kindly out of the goodness in their hearts, not considering of threats or bribes, it is naturally reinforcing. Kids that get rewarded for doing something experience less enjoyment, and are less motivated to do that behavior again!
Telling kids lies–about Santa or annihilation else–doesn't help build a trusting human relationship with them
Kids trust us fully and need us to help them make sense of the world. They rely on us to be truthful. They rely on us for security and safety. I know kids who have gotten angry with their parents after hearing that "Santa isn't real". I likewise know kids who are frightened by Santa. I know a little girl who was then scared that a strange person was coming into their house in the middle of the night that she wouldn't become to sleep on Christmas eve, finally her parents convinced her that information technology was actually a Christmas bunny who would deliver the gifts (a prevarication on meridian of a prevarication).
If gifts are unconditionally given, a child doesn't have to worry about whether he'll become gifts on Christmas and he is freed up to call up of giving to other people
Christmas is nearly giving, not receiving, correct? A problem occurs when parents utilise gifts as a reward for "good beliefs"; information technology distracts kids from their focus on giving. If gifts are conditionally given, kids focus on themselves. If gifts are given unconditionally, kids can focus on others, giving unconditionally to them likewise.
Telling kids the truth most Santa does not take abroad the magic of Christmas
The fun of Santa is playing the "Santa game": writing a letter to Santa, leaving out cookies and milk, having the gifts appear magically overnight! Yous can all the same play the "Santa game" (I did and I nonetheless do!) and have all the magic of Christmas without lying to your kids. Kids tin can handle the duality of knowing that Santa is/isn't real all at the same fourth dimension. They will still believe in magic! You won't be taking anything away from them.
At present I'thousand curious about you. Tell me in the comments section… How have you handled telling/not telling your kids about Santa? How do you preserve the magic of Christmas?
And if yous'd like more on this topic on read about "Why I Hate Elf on the Shelf"…
Source: https://www.happilyfamily.com/tell-your-kids-the-truth-about-santa/
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